ghostsighs | fic: twilight - unintended (5/5) (edward/bella)

title. unintended (5/5)
rating. pg-13
fandom/pairing. twilight / edward/bella
summary. edward knew my thoughts, and probably had been spying on them the entire time. his lips parted, letting his brilliant teeth shine, a smile that was both devious and knowing.
chapters. I II III IV V
notes. Betaed by

sonacry. Title from Muse's Unintended. Originally posted here.

Edward and I sat across from each other, him trying to read my mind, and me doing my best to do whatever it was I'd done before. I concentrated on his hair, always in complete disarray, no matter how many times he tried to style it. I noticed the barely visible highlights, all the subtle streaks of blonde and red.

“There you go, you did it!” Edward exclaimed. He sounded more proud of me than he ever had. I smirked and patted myself on the back. “What did you do?”

I looked down at my hands, trying to pick at my fingers, but realizing it wasn’t possible; one of my habits that I had yet to shake. “I surveyed your hair, actually.” I tried so hard not to laugh at how silly this sounded aloud.

“My… hair?” Edward laughed. I hit his shoulder and he apologized, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.. but, really? My hair? That’s what blocks out my mind reading? If I’d known that…” he boasted, running his slender fingers through his tousled locks. I couldn’t help but laugh at his newfound pride.

“I still don’t understand why. I feel like it is staring me right in the face, but I can’t see it. It’s like I know the answer, but it isn’t showing itself.” I twisted my face into intense thought. Edward noticed and gracefully sat behind me, rubbing my shoulders and kissing my neck.

“You don’t have to figure it all out right now, Bella. We have time, we’re immortal after all.” His hands crept curiously low and under my shirt. I knew that he was attempting to distract me, keep me from worrying too much.

But I wanted to think, I needed to live inside my own head for a while, just a few hours. “Edward, please.” I heard him lift from the bed, drifting slowly to the armchair across the room. His expression was wounded and his body language was showing all signs of rejection. “It’s not that I don’t want to, but I need to think. Give me some alone time.”

At that, Edward grimaced and exited to the front room. I leaned back on the bed, letting my eyes close and my thoughts to run free. I would figure this out today, no matter what it took.

---

I didn’t know how long I’d been living only inside my own mind, but Edward’s touch woke me and I noticed that the dark of night was now gone. The faint light from the window beside the bed made both of skin sparkle and throw rainbows around the room. I smiled, still amazed at this aspect of who we were. Edward knew my thoughts, and probably had been spying on them the entire time. His lips parted, letting his brilliant teeth shine, a smile that was both devious and knowing.

“It is so complex now, I feel like I’m breaking a promise when I listen in to your thoughts.” I looked into his eyes, seeing the light color that our recent hunt had given them. Seeing the slight flush of his cheeks, I couldn't keep my lips away from his: I wanted, so badly, to feel them against mine. He reached up, putting his hands on either side of my face. It was like falling, kisses we shared never were alike: always breathtaking, always overwhelming, and always beautiful.

His arms wrapped around me, pulling me into him. I could feel his body, chiseled muscles and hard skin, pressing into my own with a fierce intensity. He was distracting me again, but I’d let him get away with it for a moment or two. I liked our closeness; it seemed to fill the room with warmth, although neither of us could feel it physically. It was emotional warmth, one that left us glowing.

“Edward, Edward… stop.” My voice seemed to cut through him like razors, his continuing attempts at romance were failing, and I was sure he thought that I hated him, but I just had so much to figure out. He wanted to relax me, but this wouldn’t do that at all. He had to know that.

He took my hands, holding them softly, as if I was a doll. My eyes met his and I saw the worry and panic written all over his perfect face. “I don’t want you to get so involved with this… project, that you…” I put my fingers to his lips, letting a small hush escape my own.

“You worry too much. Everything is fine.” I hoped that he wouldn’t hear what I was really thinking, but suddenly his voice erupted like lava, covering me in confusion. “Nothing I do seems to be enough, I can’t do anything that you immediately dismiss. What am I to think? You react to me as if I’m a monster…”

I stared at his face and his lips weren’t moving. If my heart still kept a rhythm, it would have pumped out of my chest. Oh, what have I done now?, he thought, She looks horrified. She isn’t breathing, she’s hungry. We’ll go hunting. My eyes were wider than they had ever been. I was hearing Edward’s thoughts? Impossible. How? This isn’t making sense. Now his eyes were wide, and we both probably looked odd: both sitting in front of the other, hands entangled, eyes wide as saucers, without a movement.

You… hear me? How? Why…, Edward’s mind was racing and I couldn’t keep up. My thoughts in his head, and now his in mine. What was going on? What kind of freak vampire power did I acquire?

“Don’t… don’t think. Talk.” The room felt like it was spinning. I heard so many voices, all the voices that Edward heard every minute of every day. It felt like they were crashing against me; as if I was the shore of the beach, and they were the hostile waves from a tropical storm. My fingers pinched the bridge of my nose, something so Edward-like that it surprised me. I couldn’t hear anything but voices, millions of them, screaming and crying and laughing. I didn’t want this. It was too much, and too soon.

“Bella, look at me. Look at my eyes. Focus, ok. Just focus.” Edward whispered, knowing exactly what I was hearing inside my own head. I opened my eyes, but the cacophony of thoughts made me shut them again. Edward’s gentle hands were holding my face close to his, his lips on the tip of my nose. “Just open your eyes, and focus on me, only me.”

I took a deep breath, knowing it was more habit than necessity. My eyes opened, and met his instantly. I tried my best to take in each detail of his face. Focusing on him, only him, just as he had asked me to. I felt calmer, and the voices started to slow and lower in volume. In only a few short moments, it was as if it had never happened. Edward smiled, kissing me roughly.

“If there was anything that I didn’t wish upon you, it was my own power. It’s still difficult for me to cope with, and I’ve had years to cull it,” Edward’s voice was sterner now, taking on a solemn tone, “I don’t know if I understand what’s happening, but I hope, for your sake, that this isn’t your power. It’s a tough burden to bear.” Edward leaned his head onto my shoulder, a vulnerable position, something that wasn’t much like him.

Suddenly, I thought back to the day before. How I had been able to calm myself in a way that even Edward had described as ‘Jasper-like’ and it was like in cartoons, when the light bulb shoots up and lights up over the main character’s head. A sudden burst of ideas shot into my head, but it was all so unclear. What if I could leech powers from other vampires? It was the only theory that made sense. I’d been able to use Jasper’s power when he and Alice were surely only moments from our cabin. And maybe I had just tapped into Edward’s power, but why now? Why was all of this happening now and not before? All of the Cullens had said their powers came to them after their turning. And what about my blocking of Edward’s power against me? Was this part of my power? Too many questions, and I was sure Edward heard everything.

Edward’s face was still against my neck, and if I’d not known better, I would have assumed he was sleeping. His eyes were closed, and his breathing had slowed to nearly a stand-still. I lifted his face from my shoulder, cupping his jaw in my hands. I let everything rush to my head, tilting my head, begging him to hear what I was thinking. I wanted to see if my speculations were right.

“What are you doing?” Edward asked, his eyebrows arched and confused. A smile crept across my face, and I knew that he would have given anything to hear my exact thoughts at this moment.

I leapt off the bed and rushed to the phone. Just as I was going to call Alice, the silver phone on the coffee table rang and buzzed. I was delighted. I knew this was Alice, and that she had seen what I had figured out.

“Hello, Alice!” I practically screamed.

“Bella! You’re alright! Ok, I was worried. I saw, well, I didn’t see anything, actually. It was like before, when you’d go across the treaty line. I thought that something had happened.” Alice’s voice was panicked, but quiet. And I was so perplexed by this information, that the phone fell from my hand. Edward was there to catch it, putting it to his ear.

“Hello… oh. Hi, Alice. No, everything’s fine,” he paused, listening to Alice. I wanted to know what had happened, why she hadn’t seen me or Edward. “Ok, we’ll call later. No, it’s fine. Ok. Bye.”

Edward’s gaze was nearly as abashed as mine was. We both looked at each other like strangers would, trying to take in each other. I wasn’t sure what to say, or think. I was in shock, and thought Edward might have been too.

“Bella, what’s happening?” Edward’s voice was strained, and tight. My eyes were fluttering from him to the phone in his hand, to the light filtering through the blinds. I couldn’t keep my mind on any one thought long enough to put anything together. He took my arms, shaking me slightly, “Bella. Something is wrong. Tell me.” But I couldn’t, I didn’t know what was wrong. I couldn’t pull myself together to respond or give him hope of an answer.

“Edward… I… I… don’t know what’s wrong with me.” I collapsed to the floor, folding into myself, letting my head rest against my knees. I still was not used to my inability to cry, it was something I missed in times like these. Knowing that it would be a form of release, but all I could do was pound my head with my fists, cursing under my breath.

Edward lifted me into his arms, cradling me like a small child. My head fell onto his stone shoulder, wishing for some type of calm.

Without warning, everything clicked into place. I finally understood. My mind was going at lightning speed as I felt Edward lowering my onto the bed, resting next to me and holding me with ease. I turned to face him, smiling ear to ear. He leaned back from me, almost afraid but I knew it was caution.

“I get it,” I beamed, “I know what my power is. I think I do, at least.” I sat up, crossing my legs and clapping my hands in excitement. Edward didn’t know how to react. “I think I can block out other powers. But! I also think I can, use other vampires’ powers too.” Edward’s mouth opened to respond, but I quieted him and continued with my realization.

“You remember before we went hunting, how I was able to calm myself, like Jasper would have? You said it was as if I had ‘pulled a Jasper’, remember? Well, I did! I did pull a Jasper! I used his power before he got too far from me. And I think that is when my power broke through and the block that was on my mind broke as well. That’s why you could hear my thoughts after we fed. But, I have the ability to block you out, and I think I’ve just about figured that out, like now, you can’t hear me can you? But I can hear everything you’re thinking. This is marvelous!” My enthusiasm was bubbling over; I could feel myself shaking with anticipation at trying out this new power. Edward, however, didn’t look as thrilled, and I knew he wasn’t from his thoughts.

This seems too good to be true, personally, Edward thought quietly, I understand blocking others’ powers, since Bella had some of our kind’s powers blocked during her human existence, but the sharing of powers with other vampires. This worries me, I wish she knew how dangerous this could be.

It isn’t dangerous, Edward! Not at all! It’s glorious!, I thought, allowing Edward to hear, Think of what I’ll be able to accomplish now! Anyone we encounter, I can tap into his or her powers and use them for our benefit. This is perfect; this is what the Volturi meant! I’m an asset, Edward, not a nuisance.

Edward’s head shook, and his eyes fell from my gaze. There was disappointment in his voice, the one in his head, begging me to let him have a few moments. I watched him walk from the bedroom and winced when the front door slammed shut.

---

Edward returned hours later, with his hand in front of his face and telling me that he didn’t like having me inside his head. I wanted to call him a hypocrite, but resisted the urge. He had no way of knowing if I was listening or not, and I was sure that all the years he’d been in other people’s minds, he’d never thought to protect his own. The way all of the Cullens’ had to hide their true feelings and thoughts when Edward was around, was something he’d have to embrace as well. I would have to, as well, but I had the option of blocking him out, which worked half the time I tried. I felt like I’d wronged him, but didn’t know what I could do to make things better.

Edward threw the cell phone at me, and I caught it with a grace my former self couldn’t have. “Call Alice,” Edward barked. I forced a smile and nodded. I went to exit the room, letting Edward hear that I wanted to be alone for a bit. He adjusted himself in the chair, showing his distaste for my new ability. I let the door close loudly, stomping out of the cabin.

I dialed the familiar phone number, waiting for Alice’s singsong voice, but got Esme’s, “Hello?” I wanted to ask for Alice, but felt that I needed to talk to Esme more.

“Oh, Esme. I don’t know what to do. Edward hates me and I haven’t done anything wrong. I got my power, and I can read his mind and he doesn’t like it. He won’t talk to me. He just growls and I… I think he hates me.” My words spilled from my mouth like water, all slurring together and coated in worry.

“Bella, Bella, dear. He doesn’t hate you, not in the least. He’s going to have to adjust. It’s a lot to take in, and Edward doesn’t deal well with change,” Esme’s motherly voice was just enough to calm my nerves. “And what power do you have? Alice keeps trying to see you, and can’t. She thinks something is wrong. Well, we all do.”

I bit my lip, wishing I could do it hard enough for blood to spill and pain to ebb through my body. However, pain wasn’t something I’d come across so easily now. I almost welcomed it, wanting to feel something. “I can block out other powers,” I said flatly. Esme gasped and I continued before she said anything else, “and I can… borrow powers from other vampires, I think. That one I’m still not sure about.” It hurt how easily all this seeped from my mouth, all this knowledge that had taken me hours and hours to come to terms with, was so easy to dispense. I tried to hold back my sadness, as well as she could to Esme.

“Bella, this is, this is good news! That you have your power, you’ve waited so long. I can see how it would make Edward uneasy, and I’m sure it will take some getting used to, as I said before, but everything will work out,” Esme’s voice was calm and reassuring, like a mother’s voice should be. “Just give him some time, he’s stubborn, you of all people should know that.” I smiled at Esme’s words.

“I know, I know. I had better get back inside. Tell Alice I’ll call her later, I need to talk to Edward.” Esme offered her love and support, and assured me that this was a good development, and to not be worried. I agreed, but my nerves were shot, I couldn’t take much more of Edward’s sulking.

I closed the phone, looking at it like it would ring again. I was stalling, putting off the talk Edward and I needed to have. And my thoughts drifted to Alice and how anxious she must be.

Naturally, this led to the talk we’d had and how Edward and I had yet to bring it up to each other. With this newest turn of events, I was certain that we would need to clear many things up. Top of the list would be what Alice had suggested, and I dreaded this topic so much.

I gathered myself as best I could, lifted my hand to the door and watched it pull without any effort. Edward was staring at me livid. I blinked hard and tried to speak. He hushed my words and kissed me hard.

“We need to talk about Alice’s vision,” he said firmly. “And then we’ll talk more about the most recent developments.” His tone of voice was icy and scared me slightly. Slowly, I was losing all hope I had of this being a positive conversation.

Edward reached for my hand, looking our fingers curled around each other’s palms. “I love you, you know I do.” I nodded, afraid to hear anything else he had to say. We entered the cabin and I feared that my new power might be the end of the only thing that held me together.