fic: twilight - unintended (3/5) (edward/bella)

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title. unintended (3/5)
rating. r
fandom/pairings. twilight / edward/bella
summary. Alice met my eyes and there was genuine concern across her face. I wanted to ask her what was wrong, but was afraid of the answer. What had she seen? Surely I wasn’t going to slip up again, not after this last time. I thought I was getting stronger. I was sure of it.
chapters. I II III IV V
notes. Betaed by sonacry. Title from Muse's Unintended. Originally posted here.



I felt a presence in the room, but it wasn’t Edward. I’d know if he was here. I could feel him in a way that I hadn’t before I was turned. It was like an ache, and it only got worse until I met his eyes and felt his arms around me. This wasn’t Edward, this wasn’t anyone that I wanted to see. My broken body lay on the floor, awaiting a prince that wouldn’t come. I was alone, and he was gone.

“Bella. C’mon, get up”

Not his velvet voice. The words ran together, I heard only pitches and tone. Not his touch, it wasn’t soft and careful. He still treated me like a porcelain doll even when I could rip his arms from me in an instant. I was still his fragile beauty, but no, no longer. I was only a memory now.

“You need to feed, Bella. It will help you gain your strength. You can’t lay here for eternity.”

Yes I could. And it would be exactly what I deserved. To suffer here on the floor of an unfamiliar location. To ache with thirst until I lost track of all time. I deserved more than this, I didn’t deserve the pleasure of living. I was more than a monster, whatever that would be.

A door slammed and my head looked up to see his face. He wasn’t really here, but I could see him clearly. This wasn’t reality, it was a delusion. Of course, I’d welcomed them before, no different now. They comforted me when he realized just how much he loathed me. No, not loathe. I couldn’t believe that.

“I know you hear me, Bella. Get up.”

What a beautiful delusion.


---


“Bella!” I was pulled from my quiet meditation, but didn’t believe the voice I’d heard. More of my delusions… It had to be.

“Bella, please!”

Arms were shaking me forcefully and I stared into his flawless face. He was smiling, all his brilliant teeth shimmering white. I smiled and cradled his face in my hands. Had he always been this beautiful, or had my memory stored away a better version of him?

“Bella, can you hear me? What’s wrong?” His eyes looked concerned and his smile faded. No, Edward, please keep smiling. I need this, please.

He pulled me into his arms, stroking my hair and kissing me softly. I wasn’t sure if this was real or a fantasy, it felt real. His touch was light and familiar, I was sure I could hear his breathing. Of course this was a delusion, it couldn’t be real.

“I wish you’d say something, anything,” he whispered in my ear. I closed my eyes, letting his breath tickle my neck. I no longer slept, but this felt like the best dream I’d ever had.


---


It seemed like days had past. I didn’t know when my mind would right itself, so the comfort of his arms was something I couldn’t leave. He whispered to me, telling me he loved me.

“Bella, are you still convinced that I’m a dream? You know that you’re a vampire now, you don’t sleep? It’s practically impossible for this to be a dream.”

I looked back at Edward, our noses slightly touching. “Just… let me enjoy this.”

“Edward, she’s fine. She’ll realize that this isn’t a dream in a few moments. Let her be happy,” Alice said in her singsong voice. I’d heard her earlier, but that wasn’t real… was it?

“Want me to help or…,” Jasper’s voice was quiet and slow. “It might help, but I’m not sure.”

“It will be fine, honey. Stop worrying so much. She’s going to come out of it in about a minute, anyway.”

Edward’s hold on me was tighter, his lips kissing the top my ear, muttering he loved me. I was going to miss him so incredibly when he was gone.

Suddenly, I closed my eyes and the glow that had been over everything in the room was removed. I blinked twice and it was still the same. What had happened? Was it over? No! No! Not yet, I wasn’t ready yet! I felt arms hugging me tight and pushed away from them, staring into glittering caramel eyes.

“What is this… what happened?” I screamed. As soon as the rage filled me with warmth, a calming wave hit me hard. I nearly lost my balance and fell back into a wall.

“That was a bit much, Jasper,” Alice hissed.

“Bella, look at me. Please, just look at me.” I met his eyes and instantly felt at home. I wrapped my arms around his neck and took in his scent.

“Oh, Edward! You didn’t leave me. I know you promised, but I just knew you had. I knew it and I couldn’t breathe or move. Edward, I love you.” I was in a trance, the calming effect was wearing off and letting my euphoria bleed through. I pulled from his neck and littered his face and neck with kisses.

“We’ll go for a walk, won’t we Jasper? The scenery is gorgeous up here,” Alice laughed slightly as she took Jasper’s hand and led him out the door. I wasn’t paying them much attention, I had Edward. Nothing else mattered right now.

“Alice wanted to give us some privacy,” Edward chuckled. He reached up to hold my face as his head cocked slightly to the left. I couldn’t read his expression. It wasn’t one I recognized.

“What is it?” I giggled.

“I’ll never figure you out, Bella. We’ll live for decades and centuries and I’ll never have a hold on what to expect next. You’re an enigma that I’d love to solve, but couldn’t if I tried.”

What came from my lips next surprised me. It was something I would only think about and never express aloud, especially not to Edward. “It feels like my whole life has been a dream since I met you. At times, I find myself pinching at the skin on my arms, willing myself to wake up…,” I tried to speak again, but hung my head. His arms held me even tighter while his lips brushed my forehead.

“You’re not the only one that feels as if they’re dreaming,” he noted.

I looked up and smiled, meeting his gaze. Surely nothing could be wrong in a world where both of us could be this happy. Even just in each other’s arms, appreciating a closeness that only we could achieve. Maybe this was a dream.

Our mouths met as we toppled to the bed. His hands pulled at the waistband of my jeans roughly. I laughed and slapped his hand. The look on his face resembled that of a disciplined child. I kissed the corner of his open lips and whispered, “Sometimes a lady likes a little romance, Edward.”

“Well then, m’lady,” he announced valiantly, “you shall have your romance!” He nodded, closing his eyes. My lips pursed before a loud laugh escaped my mouth. I leaned forward so his arms could slowly ease my shirt over my head. He laid kisses down my neck and shoulders. I bit my lips and leaned my head backward to hide my rising pleasure.

His hands were like ribbons, smoothing over my marble skin with deliberate softness. His fingers were at my hips and I bit down hard on my lips to stifle a gasp. He sensed my arousal and only teased more. His tongue traced the grooves of my stomach, stopping at the top of my jeans. He looked up to meet my eyes, and I was begging. I couldn’t speak. If I had, it would come out shrill and desperate. He smiled at my pain, my silent hunger for gratification.

Edward’s nimble fingers undid the button and zipper of my jeans, slipping his hands so close to where my pain was the worst. He raised himself from the bed, ridding himself of his own clothes. He lay back down beside me, and undid the front clasp of my bra. It fell to my sides and he lifted my back to retrieve it. We were completely bare, skin on skin and electricity running sharp through my veins.

“You’re beautiful, Bella,” he said soft enough for only us to hear. I was shy, suddenly and he sensed it. Edward pulled my arms back from my chest, kissing my breasts with a feather-light touch.

I pulled him to my lips to kiss the top of his head. He laid his head on my chest and quietly sighed. I knew his thoughts, even without hearing them. We both missed the loud thumps my vacant chest once made. He never said anything about my former self, never compared who I was now to the girl I’d been months and months ago. I was sure he knew of the ache I had for the familiar ghost that haunted my thoughts.

“I miss it too,” I breathed. His face darted to meet mine. There was panic in his eyes, afraid that I was upset or saddened. I smiled slowly and kissed his eye lids, “It’s okay to miss something that’s gone.”

There was pain in his expression. I never thought it was possible for him to miss my human form more than I did, but I knew in this moment that he did. I wanted to comfort him, tell him that this was okay. Our grief for a memory was perfectly normal and healthy. But who was I to talk about normal or healthy?

He lifted himself to rest atop my body and kissed me with complete abandon. Our lips pressed hard against each other, with intimacy that only we understood. He broke our kiss and kissed my jaw line, making his way to my ear.

“Okay?” he asked. His inquiry into my permission made the lust that much worse. I parted my legs, letting him fall between them. I breathed a yes into his neck, and hitched my legs around his hips.

He entered me carefully, lingering inside before withdrawing and pushing forward again. My hips pushed into his instinctively. His rhythm was gradual and meticulous at first. He purposely hesitated between thrusts, making me beg for more. My fingers clawed at his back, but not breaking skin. Soon, his pace was hurried, and we both gasped for air we didn’t need.

My teeth sunk into his neck, the passion had become too much. I couldn’t control my urges and we were barely hanging on to reality. My eyes clenched closed as I reached my peak, Edward moaned softly and collapsed on top of me. He kissed me and rolled to his side.

I heard him laugh and snuggled into his arms, “What?” I asked.

His hand went to his neck, “This is going to be hard to cover up.” I’d already forgotten, I was so lost in the moment. I barely remembered the moments leading to our shared satisfaction.

“I’m so sorry, Edward! I didn’t…,” He kissed my trembling lips.

“It’s alright, Bella. If I’d minded, I would have stopped. I consider it a love bite, worth the scar.” His fingers traced my smile before drawing my face into his. We shared a few short kisses and relaxed against each other.

I felt incredibly tired, although I knew I didn’t need sleep. I closed my eyes and listened to Edward’s breathing. I timed mine with his and reached for his hand. I wove my fingers between his and did my best to collect my scattered thoughts.

Edward kissed my hair, taking in my scent. Then, he lifted my chin, so our eyes met. “I love you,” he whispered before kissing my pursed lips.

“I love you, too.”


---


Edward and I had just finished hunting down our clothes from around the room when Alice and Jasper walked in. Alice had a knowing smile and Jasper wouldn’t make eye contact. I was embarrassed, of course, but Edward continued like it was business as usual.

“Are you two going to stay for a while?” Edward asked. I could tell by his tone that he was hoping they left as soon as possible. I could guess why and it made me giggle under my breath.

“Oh, we’ll be out of your hair after I have a talk with Bella,” Alice mused. She stood, grabbed my hand and we were outside before I knew what was happening. “Start running, keep up with me,” she ordered. I abided and followed Alice’s pixie-like frame through the mountainous terrain.

We stopped in a lightly wooded area, perched on the top of a small hill. Wildflowers grew in patches at our feet, while trees leaned into the small opening. I was reminded of mine and Edward’s meadow.

“What did you need to talk to me about, Alice?” I sat down on the soft grass, and patted the space beside me for her to rest. She shook her head and crossed her arms. This wasn’t going to be a pleasant chat.

Alice met my eyes and there was genuine concern across her face. I wanted to ask her what was wrong, but was afraid of the answer. What had she seen? Surely I wasn’t going to slip up again, not after this last time. I thought I was getting stronger. I was sure of it.

Alice took a deep breath and started to talk in her quick-paced, melodic voice, “Bella, you need to work harder to get yourself under control. You’re going to kill someone in three days if you don’t curb your thirst,” Alice’s voice was as even as she could make it. I sensed her pain, it was drawn all over her petite face, “You need to hunt more than once a week, try every other day. And you need to socialize a little. Not much, not enough to tempt you, but enough to grow accustomed to being amongst the living. You can do this, Bella. If I’ve ever had more faith in a person to do well, it’s you. I’ve seen what you’re capable of, and I want you to be around for that. I want to see you through the good times, as well as the bad. Promise me, okay? Please promise me. I want to leave here knowing that you’re making an effort.”

Alice’s voice broke near the end and I leapt to my feet to hold her. Alice was the closest thing I had to a sister. She’d always believed in me, even when I’d slipped up in Forks. She never doubted that I could adhere to the strict Cullen diet. As much as I wanted to do this for Edward, I wanted just as badly to please Alice as well.

“I’ll try, Alice. I’ll really, really try. I’m sorry. I haven’t been giving it as much as I should have. I can do better. I promise I’ll do better.”

That was all she needed to hear. She hugged me as tight as ever and took my hand. She broke into a run and I followed close behind, whirlwind of thoughts in tow.

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