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ghostsighstitle. shall we call this a lesson learned?
fandom/pairing. twilight / jacob/leah
rating. pg
summary. She doesn’t want you. She’s never wanted you. Just like Sam doesn’t want me. We’re the cast-offs, the ones that should have been enough but weren’t.
warnings. spoilers for breaking dawn.
notes. Title from Ray LaMontagne's Lesson Learned. Originally posted here.
was it you who told me once
now looking back it seems so real
that all our mistakes are merely grist for the mill
so why is it now after i had my fill
that you steal from me the sorrow that i've earned
shall we call this a lesson learned?
·
If Jacob could have a pail, a box, anything to put all of these extra emotions and thoughts into, he would have welcomed it. It seemed that no matter what he did, he had Bella cursing his thoughts, seeing her bruised stomach, full with a child that was slowly killing her. He had so many conflicting wants and desires, but there was one that weighed heavier and heavier on his mind as each day passed.
Leah.
He was in human form, not wanting her or Seth to see or hear any of his current thoughts. Seth would try too hard to comfort him and Leah would laugh, poking fun at his current state.
He was so lost in thought that when the current star of his daydreaming stands in front of him, he doesn’t even notice.
“She pop the kid out yet?” Leah’s tone was condescending as she stood before him, a shirt that is many sizes too big draped over her frame, the hem brushing her knees.
Jacob looked up at her in disgust. “Is there a switch I can flip, anything to make you less of a bitch?”
Leah laughed and sat beside him, bumping his shoulder with her own. “You know me. It’s what I’m known for.”
“Wouldn’t you rather be known for something else?”
Jacob’s question hung in the air for a few minutes before Leah looked at him sternly, answering in a hushed voice.
“I used to be.”
·
How can you love her when she hurts you every single time you see her? I wish you could see yourself when you come back from that house.
It’s always that house with Leah, never an actual residence. That would suggest that it was a family that lived there, not a coven of vampires.
Leah, it’s.. it’s complicated. Please don’t start with me again.
No, I’m going to. I’m going to rip you back open and make you see the holes she leaves on you. Because you come back here, you come back to me a gaping wound and I have to watch you fester.
Jacob looked at her, seeing that her eyes seem to sparkle with what he could only assume were tears. He'd never seen her this vulnerable, this completely open and ready to be hurt. He stood and moved in front of her, nudging her with his nose.
You know that we can’t help who we love.
Leah didn’t look at him, lowering her head to rest on her paws. I wish you saw things like I did. I know you hear my thoughts but you can’t see what I see; how she doesn’t deserve you.
Jacob laid down in front of her, trying to catch her gaze but wasn't able to. Who deserves me, then? You? He barked a laugh and then he looked back at Leah. Her eyes were wide and she stood.
I’m going to trade off with Seth.
Jacob watched her leave, her smoky-colored fur lighting up under the moonlight. She turned to look back at him and Jacob felt like he’d just seen her for the first time. Jacob wanted to trail after her. He didn’t but his mind gave it all away.
I feel it too.
·
Leah avoided him, barely saying anything directly to him. She followed his orders like a pack member but avoided any and all other sorts of conversation. He can’t sneak up on her, she’d know. Jacob had to settle for waiting on her and he did.
It was late at night, Seth was sawing logs in a soft patch just inside the forest and that left Jacob and Leah alone to watch the perimeter.
Do you plan to talk to me again or are you that pissed off about my decisions? Jacob finally asked her. She’s miles from him but they’ll soon meet as they start back to where they began.
Leah’s tone was pissed, I’m not avoiding you, Jake. Just because I don’t worship you like Seth, doesn’t mean I’m avoiding you.
Hey!
Go to sleep, Seth! they both screamed in their heads.
Sorry.
Look, there is something here. We both know there is. I can’t explain it and it isn’t like anything I’ve ever felt before. I know you feel it too, even without the mind link. I’m not blind, Leah.
Jacob saw Leah running, the trees and grass zooming by her, her feet pounding into the earth. He stopped his pace and sat down, unsure what to do. Jacob closed his eyes and hoped she’s running to and not away from him.
Just as he thought this, he was knocked backwards, Leah standing over him like a predator. Her teeth were bared and her eyes had lost the slight twinkle; the one they used to have before both of them came to realize things that made too much sense.
Don’t fuck around with me, Jake. I’m serious. I can’t deal with you if you decide to go back to her, if the vampire finally cuts her loose and you see an opportunity. I don’t want half of you, I want the piece she’s stolen from you too.
Jacob looked up at her, completely bewildered and dumbstruck. He tried to reply but he couldn’t find the words he wanted to say. Leah took this as her answer and jumped off of him.
Best to find out now.
Jacob watched her leave, not lifting from the ground even as her form faded from view.
·
It was weeks later, Bella was a mother now, her family complete. Jacob had to run miles from the Cullen house to keep from killing the demon that nearly killed her, no, that did kill her. He didn’t wait around for her to wake up; he found a spot in the woods and gave up trying to be human at all.
Do you see now? Do you?
Leah, get out of my head!
Jacob could already see Leah running to just where he was, and he wished he could close his eyes tight enough so she wouldn’t be able to find him.
No! She doesn’t want you. She’s never wanted you. Just like Sam doesn’t want me. We’re the cast-offs, the ones that should have been enough but weren’t.
Leah’s words ring too true, sparking something inside him and he stood just as Leah entered his eye-line. It took him a few seconds to finally morph back, walking towards her as she did the same, the sound of both their bodies changing back echoing around them.
“And you can be enough?” Jacob asked, his eyes already showing signs of tears he didn't want to shed.
Leah stepped forward, both of them nude, neither of them caring. Their eyes were locked and both of them barely blinked.
“I would at least try to be. That’s more than you’ve had. More than either of us have.”
Jacob took one final step, the space between them slowly dissolving. “I don’t know if there is anything left of me to love.”
Leah raised a hand to his face, a small smile playing with her lips. “There isn’t much left of me either. That’s why we’ll work.”
Jacob didn't say a word, finally leaning forward and crossing the space between them. Their lips seemed to crash, full of passion that both of them never knew they possessed. Jacob smiled against Leah’s mouth, holding her tighter and for once, he knew that he wouldn’t regret loving someone.
fandom/pairing. twilight / jacob/leah
rating. pg
summary. She doesn’t want you. She’s never wanted you. Just like Sam doesn’t want me. We’re the cast-offs, the ones that should have been enough but weren’t.
warnings. spoilers for breaking dawn.
notes. Title from Ray LaMontagne's Lesson Learned. Originally posted here.
was it you who told me once
now looking back it seems so real
that all our mistakes are merely grist for the mill
so why is it now after i had my fill
that you steal from me the sorrow that i've earned
shall we call this a lesson learned?
·
If Jacob could have a pail, a box, anything to put all of these extra emotions and thoughts into, he would have welcomed it. It seemed that no matter what he did, he had Bella cursing his thoughts, seeing her bruised stomach, full with a child that was slowly killing her. He had so many conflicting wants and desires, but there was one that weighed heavier and heavier on his mind as each day passed.
Leah.
He was in human form, not wanting her or Seth to see or hear any of his current thoughts. Seth would try too hard to comfort him and Leah would laugh, poking fun at his current state.
He was so lost in thought that when the current star of his daydreaming stands in front of him, he doesn’t even notice.
“She pop the kid out yet?” Leah’s tone was condescending as she stood before him, a shirt that is many sizes too big draped over her frame, the hem brushing her knees.
Jacob looked up at her in disgust. “Is there a switch I can flip, anything to make you less of a bitch?”
Leah laughed and sat beside him, bumping his shoulder with her own. “You know me. It’s what I’m known for.”
“Wouldn’t you rather be known for something else?”
Jacob’s question hung in the air for a few minutes before Leah looked at him sternly, answering in a hushed voice.
“I used to be.”
·
How can you love her when she hurts you every single time you see her? I wish you could see yourself when you come back from that house.
It’s always that house with Leah, never an actual residence. That would suggest that it was a family that lived there, not a coven of vampires.
Leah, it’s.. it’s complicated. Please don’t start with me again.
No, I’m going to. I’m going to rip you back open and make you see the holes she leaves on you. Because you come back here, you come back to me a gaping wound and I have to watch you fester.
Jacob looked at her, seeing that her eyes seem to sparkle with what he could only assume were tears. He'd never seen her this vulnerable, this completely open and ready to be hurt. He stood and moved in front of her, nudging her with his nose.
You know that we can’t help who we love.
Leah didn’t look at him, lowering her head to rest on her paws. I wish you saw things like I did. I know you hear my thoughts but you can’t see what I see; how she doesn’t deserve you.
Jacob laid down in front of her, trying to catch her gaze but wasn't able to. Who deserves me, then? You? He barked a laugh and then he looked back at Leah. Her eyes were wide and she stood.
I’m going to trade off with Seth.
Jacob watched her leave, her smoky-colored fur lighting up under the moonlight. She turned to look back at him and Jacob felt like he’d just seen her for the first time. Jacob wanted to trail after her. He didn’t but his mind gave it all away.
I feel it too.
·
Leah avoided him, barely saying anything directly to him. She followed his orders like a pack member but avoided any and all other sorts of conversation. He can’t sneak up on her, she’d know. Jacob had to settle for waiting on her and he did.
It was late at night, Seth was sawing logs in a soft patch just inside the forest and that left Jacob and Leah alone to watch the perimeter.
Do you plan to talk to me again or are you that pissed off about my decisions? Jacob finally asked her. She’s miles from him but they’ll soon meet as they start back to where they began.
Leah’s tone was pissed, I’m not avoiding you, Jake. Just because I don’t worship you like Seth, doesn’t mean I’m avoiding you.
Hey!
Go to sleep, Seth! they both screamed in their heads.
Sorry.
Look, there is something here. We both know there is. I can’t explain it and it isn’t like anything I’ve ever felt before. I know you feel it too, even without the mind link. I’m not blind, Leah.
Jacob saw Leah running, the trees and grass zooming by her, her feet pounding into the earth. He stopped his pace and sat down, unsure what to do. Jacob closed his eyes and hoped she’s running to and not away from him.
Just as he thought this, he was knocked backwards, Leah standing over him like a predator. Her teeth were bared and her eyes had lost the slight twinkle; the one they used to have before both of them came to realize things that made too much sense.
Don’t fuck around with me, Jake. I’m serious. I can’t deal with you if you decide to go back to her, if the vampire finally cuts her loose and you see an opportunity. I don’t want half of you, I want the piece she’s stolen from you too.
Jacob looked up at her, completely bewildered and dumbstruck. He tried to reply but he couldn’t find the words he wanted to say. Leah took this as her answer and jumped off of him.
Best to find out now.
Jacob watched her leave, not lifting from the ground even as her form faded from view.
·
It was weeks later, Bella was a mother now, her family complete. Jacob had to run miles from the Cullen house to keep from killing the demon that nearly killed her, no, that did kill her. He didn’t wait around for her to wake up; he found a spot in the woods and gave up trying to be human at all.
Do you see now? Do you?
Leah, get out of my head!
Jacob could already see Leah running to just where he was, and he wished he could close his eyes tight enough so she wouldn’t be able to find him.
No! She doesn’t want you. She’s never wanted you. Just like Sam doesn’t want me. We’re the cast-offs, the ones that should have been enough but weren’t.
Leah’s words ring too true, sparking something inside him and he stood just as Leah entered his eye-line. It took him a few seconds to finally morph back, walking towards her as she did the same, the sound of both their bodies changing back echoing around them.
“And you can be enough?” Jacob asked, his eyes already showing signs of tears he didn't want to shed.
Leah stepped forward, both of them nude, neither of them caring. Their eyes were locked and both of them barely blinked.
“I would at least try to be. That’s more than you’ve had. More than either of us have.”
Jacob took one final step, the space between them slowly dissolving. “I don’t know if there is anything left of me to love.”
Leah raised a hand to his face, a small smile playing with her lips. “There isn’t much left of me either. That’s why we’ll work.”
Jacob didn't say a word, finally leaning forward and crossing the space between them. Their lips seemed to crash, full of passion that both of them never knew they possessed. Jacob smiled against Leah’s mouth, holding her tighter and for once, he knew that he wouldn’t regret loving someone.
Be an 
Comments are appreciated.
no subject
Date: 2008-12-12 08:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-12-29 08:29 am (UTC)But sweet. :D
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From: